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Halloween Jokes & Riddles – Happy Halloween Ghoulish Humor & Fun!

Happy Halloween Jokes Humor

Halloween Jokes & Ghoulish Humor!

Halloween is fast approaching and even though this holiday is all about being scared, I always love to incorporate good ole’ laughter and excitement, too! I’ve put together a large collection of Halloween jokes that are sure to result in a loud and ghoulish laugh. Check it out and be sure to check back all month for even more Halloween fun at MamaNYC!

* Be sure to check out MamaNYC’s FREE Halloween Printables, a list of strange October holidays and observances, and a great list of Halloween Trick-or-Treating safety tips to share with the kids!


 

What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?

White Pillowcases. 

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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * House Of Horrors Haunted House

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?

Bootiques.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?

A cereal killer.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

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What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

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What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

What do you call a witch in the desert?

A sandwitch.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What does a vampire fear the most?

Tooth decay.

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Where did the vampire open his savings account?

At a blood bank.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts serve for dessert?

Ice Scream.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What did the mummy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What did the mummy say to the detective?

Lets wrap this case up.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?

Fasten your sheet belts.

* * * * * * * * * * * *   

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?

Lemon-slime.

 * * * * * * * * * * * *  

What’s a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

* * * * * * * * * * * *   

What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?

He got repossessed.

 * * * * * * * * * * * *  

Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms?

They’re afraid of flying off the handle

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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit !

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash!

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

* * * * * * * * * * * *   

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?

It’s good for the bones.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

Why don’t skeletons like parties?

They have no body to dance with.

* * * * * * * * * * * *   

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

Ghost Cat Tree BooTheir bats flew away.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers

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Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend

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What’s a monster’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?

Ghost-Toasties

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

 What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?

Twick or Tweet!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What does a ghost eat for lunch?

 A BOO-logna sandwich 

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Where do mummies go for a swim?

To the dead sea

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where does a ghost go on vacation? 

Mali-boo. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why does a witch ride a broom?

The Vacuum cleaner’s poweer is cord it too short. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do they teach in witching school? 

Spelling.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Dracula Scary ClipartWhy did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you give a vampire with a cold?

Coffin Drops!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do ghosts buy their food?

 At the ghost-ery store

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster

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How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Why was the mummy so tense?

He was all wound up

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What is a ghost’s favorite party game?

Hide-and-go-shriek

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?

Boo-ties!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?

Boojeans

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?

Boonanas and Booberries

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

 What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?

Dead Ends

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?

A plumpkin.Black Spider Clipart

 * * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A hoblin goblin.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?

Because everyone was a goblin!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What is a monster’s favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I’m bone to be wild!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?

Because he likes to draw blood!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

When do gholes cook their victims?

On Fry Day

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?

A sucker

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

Hoblin Goblin

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-aid!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spookgetti 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?

Ghostcards

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?

Booberries. 

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What’s a ghosts favorite desert?

Boo-berry pie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Why was the ghost such a messy eater?

Because he was always a goblin. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream. Spook Halloween Mummy

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What type of monster really loves dance music?

The boogieman! 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

.Ghoul

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn’t have a haunting license. 

Halloween Pumpkin Spider* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of makeup do goblins  wear?

mas-scare-a

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who was the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do most werewolves live?

Howllywood, California

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do most goblins live?

North and South Scarolina

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a little monsters parents

mummy and deady

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.

sour-puss

Halloween Black Cat Tomb Jokes* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What instrument do skellitens play?

Trom-BONE

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did’t the skelliten cross the road?

He had no guts

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored to death

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?Halloween Jokes Dracula Ghost

He has a bat temper.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What can’t you give the headless horseman?

A headache

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?

They would only let him be BAT boy

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why didn’t Dracula get married?

He never met a nice Ghoul

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?

Wrap!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What song does Dracula hate?

"You Are My Sunshine"

 

 

 

MamaNYC
My name is Nicole Napolitano and I am a full-time professional parenting blogger and work-at-home mom of two adorable and vivacious children (boy - 6 & girl - 2.5). I decided to develop MamaNYC in 2010 shortly (1-month) after transitioning from work-a-holic Internet marketing pro to the shoes of a stay-at-home mom (bored!). As a dedicated business manager for over 9-years, I was determined and positive that I would once again be a successful business woman -- whether or not I had a diaper bag tagging along! I am a New York City native, but relocated with my husband and our two kids to sunny Los Angeles in the summer of 2014. Leaving everything behind was scary, but it's time to make new memories. My interests include web design, Internet marketing, product development and research, SEO, movies, friends, and spending time with my family.
http://mamanyc.net

9 thoughts on “Halloween Jokes & Riddles – Happy Halloween Ghoulish Humor & Fun!

  1. Hahaha, these are sooo up my youngest son’s alley!! = ) I’ve read a whole bunch of them to him … and of course now he wants me to read them ALL! Happy (or should I say SPOOKY) Halloween!!

  2. These are very cute! I like the one about the poultry-geist and the one about tooth decay. I will be using some of these silly jokes this Halloween. 🙂

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