Halloween Jokes & Riddles – Happy Halloween Ghoulish Humor & Fun!


Happy Halloween Jokes Humor

Halloween Jokes & Ghoulish Humor!

Halloween is fast approaching and even though this holiday is all about being scared, I always love to incorporate good ole’ laughter and excitement, too! I’ve put together a large collection of Halloween jokes that are sure to result in a loud and ghoulish laugh. Check it out and be sure to check back all month for even more Halloween fun at MamaNYC!

* Be sure to check out MamaNYC’s FREE Halloween Printables, a list of strange October holidays and observances, and a great list of Halloween Trick-or-Treating safety tips to share with the kids!


 

What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?

White Pillowcases. 

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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * House Of Horrors Haunted House

Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?

Bootiques.

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What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?

A cereal killer.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

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What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

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What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich.

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What do you call a witch in the desert?

A sandwitch.

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What does a vampire fear the most?

Tooth decay.

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Where did the vampire open his savings account?

At a blood bank.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo.

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What do ghosts serve for dessert?

Ice Scream.

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What did the mummy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What did the mummy say to the detective?

Lets wrap this case up.

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What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?

Fasten your sheet belts.

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What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?

Lemon-slime.

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What’s a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

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What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?

He got repossessed.

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Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms?

They’re afraid of flying off the handle

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Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body

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What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit !

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

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What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash!

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What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

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Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?

It’s good for the bones.

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Why don’t skeletons like parties?

They have no body to dance with.

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Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

Ghost Cat Tree BooTheir bats flew away.

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What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

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Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers

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Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend

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What’s a monster’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

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What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray

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What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos

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What kind of cereal do monsters eat?

Ghost-Toasties

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 What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula

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What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?

Twick or Tweet!

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Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie

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What does a ghost eat for lunch?

 A BOO-logna sandwich 

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Where do mummies go for a swim?

To the dead sea

 

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Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life.

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Where does a ghost go on vacation? 

Mali-boo. 

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What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates. 

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What do you call a witch’s garage?

A broom closet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why does a witch ride a broom?

The Vacuum cleaner’s poweer is cord it too short. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do they teach in witching school? 

Spelling.

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Why don’t mummies take vacations?

They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend

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Dracula Scary ClipartWhy did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos

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What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound

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What do you give a vampire with a cold?

Coffin Drops!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

 At the ghost-ery store

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Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office

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What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster

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How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

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When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone

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Why was the mummy so tense?

He was all wound up

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line

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What is a ghost’s favorite party game?

Hide-and-go-shriek

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What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?

Boo-ties!

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What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight

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What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?

Boojeans

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?

Boonanas and Booberries

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 What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?

Dead Ends

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern?

A plumpkin.Black Spider Clipart

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What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

A hoblin goblin.

* * * * * * * * * * * *  

Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?

Because everyone was a goblin!

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who did the ghost invite to his party?

Anyone he could dig up!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What is a monster’s favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies

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What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I’m bone to be wild!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?

Because he likes to draw blood!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

When do gholes cook their victims?

On Fry Day

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What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?

A sucker

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?

Hoblin Goblin

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What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-aid!!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

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What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spookgetti 

 

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What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs

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What do goblins mail home while on vacation?

Ghostcards

 

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What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?

Booberries. 

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What’s a ghosts favorite desert?

Boo-berry pie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

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Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Why was the ghost such a messy eater?

Because he was always a goblin. 

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What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream. Spook Halloween Mummy

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What type of monster really loves dance music?

The boogieman! 

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Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

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Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

.Ghoul

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What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

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Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn’t have a haunting license. 

Halloween Pumpkin Spider* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What kind of makeup do goblins  wear?

mas-scare-a

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who was the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do most werewolves live?

Howllywood, California

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Where do most goblins live?

North and South Scarolina

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you call a little monsters parents

mummy and deady

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.

sour-puss

Halloween Black Cat Tomb Jokes* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What instrument do skellitens play?

Trom-BONE

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did’t the skelliten cross the road?

He had no guts

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Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored to death

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How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat. 

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What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It’s a pain in the neck.

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How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?Halloween Jokes Dracula Ghost

He has a bat temper.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What can’t you give the headless horseman?

A headache

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?

They would only let him be BAT boy

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Why didn’t Dracula get married?

He never met a nice Ghoul

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?

Wrap!

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

What song does Dracula hate?

"You Are My Sunshine"

 

 

 

  • Christopher Wetmore

    Thanks. I’m swiping some of these for my Facebook wall.

  • Melanie S

    Hahaha, these are sooo up my youngest son’s alley!! = ) I’ve read a whole bunch of them to him … and of course now he wants me to read them ALL! Happy (or should I say SPOOKY) Halloween!!

  • http://frompdxwithlove.com Sofia

    Thanks for the jokes! I’ll have to share some with my boys…doubt they’d get them though.

  • http://www.atticgirl.com shelly

    Ha! Some of those actually made me snort.

  • http://www.captainfussybuckets.com Gena

    hahaha! I’ve gotta share these with my son!

  • Melanie L.

    These are very cute! I like the one about the poultry-geist and the one about tooth decay. I will be using some of these silly jokes this Halloween. :)

  • http://. Jessica Viana

    Aw haha these definitely had me smiling ! I had never really heard any Halloween jokes and these are really good (:
    Need to share them with my little brother ! (:

  • Tara

    Thanks for the jokes, I loved them and will have to share with my son who will enjoy them too!

  • http://puzzlesnriddles.blogspot.com/ Mathew Stephen

    Wow Great Collection! Loved it!