Talk To Me Tuesday: Temper Tantrum Troubles – Mom Advice & Parenting Tips!

  

Talk To Me Tuesday Temper Tantrums Tips

Last Tuesday I shared your stories, tips, and advice on how to deal with pacifier problems. Thereafter, I announced the second topic for Talk To Me Tuesday, which is a fairly new segment here at MamaNYC! The second topic which we will be discussing today is TEMPER TANTRUM TROUBLES!

*Want to go back and read previous topics and discover reader driven parenting tips and advice? Feel free to read over the Talk To Me Tuesday Introductory Post if you want to learn more about how this weekly advice ‘column’ works. You can also read all of the Talk To Me Tuesday posts or browse the entire parenting advice category here at MamaNYC. 

I Love Mom Blocks

Every Tuesday I will be featuring a new segment called Talk To Me Tuesday, which is going to feature YOUR advice, input, stories (horror stories welcome!), and tips. Each week I will post the NEXT weeks topic to discuss and everyone will submit their stories. Come back the following Tuesday and you will find your submission(s) posted here at MamaNYC!

First Thing First!
Let’s get down to business and hear YOUR input on last weeks topic!


Temper Tantrum Toddler Clipart

TUESDAY, MARCH 13th: Temper Tantrum Troubles!

Last week I asked my readers to submit some of their tips, positive stories, HORROR stories, and advice on how to deal with temper tantrums!

I cringe whenever I remember how terrible I was as a young girl and teenager, which reminds me of hearing my mom say, "I can’t WAIT until you have a kid of your own… and YOU get to see what these tantrums are like!". I would shrug and blissfully renounce my faith in avoiding that issue: "Not me… That will never happen!". Fast forward to 2012 and I have a little boy on the verge of 3-years old – going on 21. 

I have two sibling brothers, but I was the #1 offender when it came to temper tantrums. Temper tantrums are just another universal problem that parents must deal with day in and day out. Depending on the situation and your mood, I know that growing frustrated can happen fast and easily, especially when the child can’t express what they want or need very well. 

Temper tantrums are are going to happen… but they don’t have to be messy or end with everyone involved up in arms (or, tears). It is up to the parent to remain in control and take certain steps to lessen the occurrence.   

My son is growing every day, which means he is becoming much more prone to breakdowns and those selfish moments of wanting everything for himself. This is my first time doing this – so your advice was necessary. I also wanted my readers to know they are NOT alone on the rocky boat of dealing with these types of breakdowns.

Let’s see what you all had to say!

 Marie over at Dixieland Deals says: "My son and I still laugh over this one. My oldest son was about 3 and we’d gone to the grocery store. I’d been trying to teach him that I expected certain behavior out of him when we were shopping or eating in a restaurant and he was doing okay with that most of the time. This day, however, he had wanted something, cookies, I think it was, and i’d told him no. He laid down on the floor and threw a screaming, kicking, deluxe temper tantrum, and would not stop. 

People were looking and I was so embarrassed, lol, then an idea hit me, figuring I couldn’t be any more embarrassed than I already was, I lay down on the floor beside him in the aisle and proceeded to throw a similar, although much quieter temper tantrum, basically mimicking him. He got dead silent, stood up, and kept touching my shoulder saying, No Mommy, get UP!" lol, so I got up and told him, "Now, didn’t that look silly?" He said yes, and was very well behaved from then on, no more temper tantrums. As my other three children came along, he was the first to let them know, you did NOT throw a temper tantrum when you were out with Mommy. 

Of course, this was back in the late 80′s, but that day, I did have several people in the store come up and tell me that what I did was a great way to solve that problem that day, and surprisingly, it’s one of the things my son STILL remembers to this day, and still laughs about it."

Leilia at The Go To Mommy has another horror story! Buggy was about a year and a half when she threw her first ever tantrum. We were discussing something in the kitchen when she threw herself down on the tile and started kicking, hitting and screaming. We completely ignored her and continued our conversation. End of that. Now that she is older (6 years) she may start to have a fit and I just look at her in the eyes and calmly ask her "Who am I?" Of course, her answer is "mommy". My next question to her is "do fits work with mommy?" To which he reply is "no" and she stops. Unfortunately, this does not work for daddy, but it certainly works for me!

Buddy… cute, sweet Buddy is another story. The only thing I have found that works for Buddy is that we send him to his room to "calm down". When his fits start, we make inform him that he needs to go to his room and calm down and when he feels that he is calm, he can return to where ever we are. A lot of times he will go in his room and come right back out, continuing his fit. We again tell him calmly that he needs to go in his room, stay in his room to calm down and when he is calm and not throwing a fit, he can return. We never yell at him or make a big scene. We just calmly, in a normal tone of voice, inform him that he needs to go to his room to calm down and he is able to make the choice when he is calm enough to come out.

Julie at Teaching Good Eaters has some GREAT tips and a possible source for temper tantrums! One thing that many people may not consider when it comes to tantrums is diet. My daughter has a food sensitivity to soy. When she has it, she experiences what we call "Soy Rage." My brother and father learned this the hard way when they were babysitting her and decided it would be fun to get her to try sushi and seaweed salad. She happily ate it, having no idea what she was eating.

However, by the time we came home they were saying, "I have no idea what happened, all we did was ask her to put on her pajamas, but she lost it!" Tantrums are also a common reaction for children who are sensitive to gluten. Food dyes and sugar can cause otherwise calm children to throw tantrums, as well. As a teacher I saw a huge increase in unreasonable behavior after children were served sugary snacks and treats. If parents have children who experience frequent tantrums or tantrums that are way out of proportion to the situation, I would highly suggest that they pay attention to whether or not there could be a food related trigger. A great resource on this topic is "What’s Eating Your Child," by Kelly Dorfman.

Gena over at Captain Fussypants seems to use the best trick I know: IGNORE the behavior or divert the behavior towards something else"My oldest son, who is 3, went through a terrible tantrum phase. He still has tantrums occasionally, but this is what I learned. When you see a tantrum coming on, (which is not always possible,) assess the situation. Is he tired? Hungry? Thirsty? Sometimes crisis can be averted if you offer him a quick snack or drink, or just snuggle him a bit. If nothing else is wrong and he really just WANTS something, that was a teachable moment, but only AFTER he had calmed down.

There is no use trying to talk sense into a screaming two or three year old! So if we are in a store and he throws a fit for something, I don’t give in. I ignore it, try to divert his attention to something else, and if he continues, I simply say no. If it escalates, that’s when it’s time to leave. Usually he gets so upset that we have to leave that he stops. Then after he calms down, I tell him WHY he can’t have everything he sees, and I tell him what he should say when I say "no." And the second he practices that behavior, I praise him…OVER praise him….tell him how sweet he is being and just lay it on thick. :)

And you know what, there have been days when he has been angelic and said "okay Mommy" every time he asked for something and I said "no" and after we’re done shopping, I’ll say "You know, you were SO sweet at the store today. You could have thrown a fit, but you didn’t. So, we’re going for a special treat!" and I’ll take him to get an ice cream cone or we’ll go out to dinner as a family. It’s not a bribe, it’s a celebration, and I know how hard he tried to not throw a fit, so I believe it should be celebrated!"

*Gena wrote about a Small Success she had with temper tantrums back in June, 2011! Read her story on how she dealt with a breakdown and follow her temper tantrum tips!

Heather over at ABA Mom has several blog posts related to temper tantrum techniques. Here is what Heather has to say about her experiences and dealing with tantrums: "I manage a blog on child behavior and have several posts related to temper tantrums. I would like to fancy myself an expert, but even experts don’t have all the answers! My toddler is a picky eater. We try the ‘first carrot, then cookie’ technique but it just results in a temper tantrum of frustration – for her and us! We need some tips!"


Talk To Me Tuesday Picky Eater Tips TALK TO ME: Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Picky Eater Problems!

Now that we’ve conquered Pacifier Problems and Temper Tantrum Troubles… let’s take this into the kitchen. 

Lately I have been dealing with a little boy that likes to eat one day, but then he will avoid foods at ALL costs the next. We only have a small menu of options that he will actually sit down and eat {by himself}. I am always trying to mix things up, but I want to AVOID any habits. I don’t want to continue preparing 2+ different options for every meal. 

What sort of tips can you give on how to deal with the picky eater? Do you give in and prepare a different meal option for your children – OR… every child individually? 


Tell me your tips, stories, and advice on how to deal with Picky Eater Problems… and remember that the amount of anonymity or details revealed is in your hands. Are you currently going through the same issue(s)? Have a story of FAILURE or success? Share your advice and tips. Remember that there is NO such thing as silly advice or knowledge. Everyone’s advice is welcome and I cannot wait to gather your stories into one giant heaping post filled with advice!

Please use the form below to submit your advice, tips, or stories. Remember that you can remain anonymous if you choose! All of the fields are options on the form. 

Just a few things you should know…

  • ANONYMITY IS NOT A PROBLEM! You decide what we know about who you are. Choose a pen name or submit your real name. Your tips are what we want to hear – and I don’t want anyone to feel ashamed or scared to broadcast their parenting stories. 
  • Parenting advice is FREE, but sometimes it is hard to come by GREAT advice.. which is why Talk To Me Tuesday is hopefully going to grow into something more than advice. Let’s share stories. I want to hear how you have conquered your biggest parenting fears. Tell us how to overcome those parenting obstacles that scare the bejeezus out of other parents. I have a 2 1/2 year old son, so I want to know what to expect when my son turns 3 (I promise to act surprised!)
  • EMAIL ADDRESS: I will NOT be including email addresses for any reason. This will be used for internal purposes only. I will also be sending out an email reminder next Monday so that you can remember to check out your submission! (Optional)
  • BLOGGERS: I would love to include your blog name, URL, and button if you would like! All blogger buttons will be included on the bottom of the post, but I can include your blog name with URL link alongside your submission. Also – have you recently talked about temper tantrum tips or shared a story on YOUR blog? Include the direct URL and I will link to your post! (Note: This is only available to bloggers that submit a story or tip. I would love to hear about your temper tantrum stories, but I will not link to your post unless a submission for Talk To Me Tuesday is included!)

SUBMIT YOUR TIPS, ADVICE, AND STORIES:

CLICK HERE


SUBMIT YOUR TOPIC IDEAS
Do you have a specific topic or question that you would love to see readers discuss in a future Talk To Me Tuesday? I would love to hear your ideas, or use YOUR questions as a platform in future discussions. Please fill out the topic submission form and I will hopefully use your idea in a future Talk To Me Tuesday in the very near future! Leave your email address so that I can let you know, but keep in mind that you can also remain anonymous. If you decide to share your name/email address/blog name and URL, remember that the level of anonymity is up to YOU. I will share as much (or as little) as you want!

 

See You Next Week!

 

Comments

  1. says

    Thanks so much for posting these…..they are so helpful! And thanks also for posting my story! :)

    I’ll definitely be reading next week because this is what we’re going through at our house…picky mcpickerson!

    Thanks, Nicole!

  2. Sylvia Ortiz says

    Thanks for the interesting reading ~ I forwarded to my daughter-in-law for future references (my grandson is 6 months old).

  3. Kelly A. Tanner says

    I am also looking forward to next week’s topic. My six year old is the PICKIEST eater ever! Dinner time is so often a struggle. Thanks for the temper tantrum tips. I have a 9 month old who is not too far from that age!

  4. Jennifer Lewis says

    It’s always great to get other parents advise when it comes to children… My husband and I are just beginning to experience true “temper tantrums” with our daughter (our first). We are really struggling with bedtime tantrums now, though she was an angel at night for the first 18 months.

  5. says

    I love the advice for the 6 y/o throwing a tantrum. I have a 7 y/o daughter who is very prone to temper tantrums when it comes to homework time. We will usually send her to her room until she is calm enough to reason with, but have found that she finds this rewarding in a way, because it gets her out of doing her homework for just a little longer. I am definitely going to try the eye-to-eye tip mentioned. So much great advice. Thank you!

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